For a long time, I thought I lived with much intentionality.
I was wrong.
The team I’m a part of is currently reading through Andy Stanley’s book, Deep & Wide: Creating Churches Unchurched People Love to Attend. Through it, I’ve come to realize that my intentions in ministry, and in much of life, haven’t been all that intentional. I’ve developed habits that have increasingly decreased my level of intentionality and, more and more, I’m seeing the need to spend more time being consistently intentional and less time consistently faking it.
I may’ve just confused myself on that last statement.
Let me put it this way.
I need to consistently pursue intentionality in all areas of ministry and in life.
Even being intentional about the words I write in this article is tough.
Let me start again.
I’ve come to see that I need to be more intentional. Easy enough. I need to be intentional with how I interact with people I deal with everyday. I need to be intentional with those I interact with less frequently. I need to be intentional about the foods I eat and the words that come out of my mouth. I just need to think more about everything I do, I suppose.
Don’t get me wrong, I am intentional in many areas. With my kids. With my wife. In my job. Maybe I just lack consistency with many of those things I’m somewhat intentional about.
I look back at my time as a pastor and I search for moments and seasons when I was intentional. I remember some of those times but, if I’m being honest, I’m left questioning myself because it seems I may have been intentional in many of the wrong areas.
I fought hard for the things that weren’t as important and didn’t fight for the things that were.
It’s a consistent battle. And one that I need to be more intentional about.