Every time you say yes to something, you say no to something else.
This truth has had an enormous impact on how I live my life, how I make decisions, how we do our calendar as a family, and how I lead Revolution Church.
But how do you know what to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to? That’s the most common question I get from someone who has read my book or has heard me say this in a talk. Honestly, it’s different for each person.
Too often we focus on what we want to do in the next day, week or month and then make a decision based on that. Let me frame it a different way for you: What kind of person do you want to become in the next month? In the next half year? One year from now, who do you want to be?
Will this involve doing something? Yes, but it changes the context.
For example, if a year from now you want to be closer to Jesus than you are today and a stronger disciple, then you will make the choice to say ‘yes’ to community, ‘yes’ to serving in your church, ‘yes’ to reading your Bible, and ‘yes’ to inviting people to church. That will then determine what you say ‘no’ to.
Often we hope that something will happen. We will simply become kinder, more generous, thinner or smarter without putting in the work or even be willing to make a choice towards something. If you want to become a person who is known for ________, then you will have to make decisions for that to happen. A wish and a hope are not enough.
Take your marriage or another relationship. What if six months from now that relationship was stronger? It would mean that what you are doing right now would have to change. You would need to make more of an effort, you would have to say ‘yes’ to giving time and energy to that relationship and saying ‘no’ to something else (ie. golfing, sleeping in, working too late).
We often think we have no power over where our life goes, what our marriage becomes, the relationship we have with God or how kind we are. Yet we do. Every day we make decisions that get our life somewhere.
Here’s the problem: We never sit down to ask, Where do I want to end up?