Porn and the Pulpit: Hope for the Struggling Pastor

There’s roughly a fifty-fifty chance your pastor is looking at porn. Pastor Bob—who stands behind the pulpit each weekend—might be studying more than the scriptures during the week, if you know what I mean. I say that tongue-in-cheek, of course, but the reality is this is no laughing matter.

Porn is a real problem with very real consequences. A couple of years ago I spent some time gathering statistics on pastors and pornography and wrote an article outlining my findings. The article received a lot of attention. Many were surprised at the stats. Some tweeted about them. Others quoted them in articles, like this one. Pastors and church leaders were reaching out to me, some sharing their stories and others sharing their concerns.

Before I continue, let’s review some of those statistics to get us up to speed:

  • Covenant Eyes, an internet accountability company, reports that 51% percent of pastors say pornography is a possible temptation.
  • Pastors.com surveyed 1,351 pastors on porn use and 54% of them said they had viewed internet pornography within the last year and 30% of those had viewed internet pornography within the last 30 days.
  • According to a Barna study, which was conducted in partnership with Josh McDowell Ministries, 57% of pastors and 64% of youth pastors admit they have watched porn, either currently or in the past.
  • That same Barna study notes that 21% of youth pastors and 14% of pastors, overall, admit they currently struggle with porn. And about 12% of youth pastors and 5% of pastors say they are addicted to porn.
  • Mark Driscoll’s Real Marriage campaign noted that 50% of pastors regularly look at porn.
  • Seventy-five percent of pastors do not make themselves accountable to anyone regarding their internet use.

Studies show that viewing pornography isn’t isolated to those sitting in the pews. It has worked its way into the lives of pastors and church leaders as well. I’ve listened to several pastors as they’ve shared devastating stories of how pornography ruined—or almost ruined—their families and marriages. Some, thankfully, have submitted to those in authority over them and have walked through a season, or seasons, of accountability.

Others were much less fortunate.

Michael John Cusick, founder of Restoring the Soul and author of Surfing for God, writes about his struggle with porn addiction in a Huffington Post article entitled, “A Pastor’s Struggle With Sex and Porn Addiction.”

“My own addiction to porn and illicit sex began in high school,” Cusick says. “No matter how close I came to getting caught, I always managed to jump in the manure and come out smelling like a rose. While working in church ministry in my mid-twenties, my addiction was nearly exposed in a newspaper story about a raid on an escort service. But even that didn’t lead to change. I might stop for a time, vow to mend my ways, tear up my porn magazines, but eventually the insatiable urge would return.”

But on July 10, 1994, Cusick’s excuses ran out.

“After what seemed like hours of silence,” he said, “I spoke the words my wife has dreaded ever since. “There is something I have to tell you…”

That day, Cusick writes, was the worst of his life. But it was also the best day of his life.

“Though I was shattered,” he said, “it was the day I finally understood Jesus’ words recorded in the gospel of John: the truth shall set you free.

Now Cusick says, after counseling men with pornography and sex addictions for more than twenty years, “barely a day goes by that I don’t hear a story about a man or woman who has lost something dear—their marriage, family relationships, job, ministry, reputation, self-respect—because of pornography. Of course, when we experience such loss, it also affects spouses, children, friends, congregations, and communities. Everyone loses when it comes to porn.”

Cusick couldn’t be more right. Everyone loses when it comes to porn.

Next Steps

If you’re an ex-pastor, pastor, or a church leader—or anything in between—I encourage you to examine your heart. Like, right now. Ask yourself questions only you have the answers to. And if those answers lead you to discover yourself trapped by sexual sin, take a moment and consider these next steps:

First

Read Cusick’s article in its entirety. He offers an inspiring message of hope for those struggling with porn addiction. He ends the article with a beautiful declaration: “God is not mad at you. In fact, that secret, hidden place of your greatest struggle, failure or shame is exactly where God wants to meet you and give you a great gift. I should know. It happened to me.”

Pastor, God is not mad at you. Take comfort in that and let that soak in for a minute. God is not mad at you. Not only that, I’m confident He wants to see you fulfilling your call—wholly and with freedom—as shepherd over His flock.

Second

If you are a pastor struggling with pornography addiction, you really need to understand and embrace this: You cannot strong-arm your way out of this. Porn addiction is like no other addiction in that it goes much deeper than satisfying a sexual craving.

In her article, Nancy Flory, associate Editor at The Stream, writes that “watching pornography goes beyond simply viewing images, or even creating new pathways in the brain, allowing addiction to take hold. Pornography harms the viewers psychologically as well, affecting not only their sexual performances but also how they view others.”

Third

Admit you have a problem and seek some guidance from godly men (if you’re a man) or godly women (if you’re a woman) whom you respect and trust and can get into a real and raw accountable relationship with.

Lastly

If you are in senior leadership of a church with staff struggling with porn addiction, take a minute to read Covenant Eye’s article, “Does Struggling with Pornography Disqualify a Pastor from Ministry?” and learn how to respond to struggling pastors.

From the ExPastors Team

This is a topic that we want to cover more with this community. We have partnered with Josh McDowell Ministries and will be sharing more of his writing on this subject. Look for that in the near future.

If you or someone you know is struggling in the area of porn and/or sexual addiction, contact us and we will get you in touch with coaches and counselors that can help you.

Are you a sexual addict and needing serious help and intervention? Look into intensives like this and others. Please get help! There is freedom in Christ. 

POSTED ON April 16, 2018

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Bo Lane is the founder of ExPastors, a community that strives to offer help, healing, and hope for expastors, pastors, and church leaders, and author of Why Pastors Quit. As a media professional with more than 15 years of experience, he has developed marketing and brand strategies that have revolutionized churches and businesses, both large and small. Bo left full-time ministry after serving more than a decade in churches in Oregon, California, and Iowa. He is also a writer, filmmaker, woodworker, husband and father.