Of course, it’s perfectly alright to find value in your life from what you do – in fact you SHOULD do that – but that’s not the same as finding your identity – finding yourself APART from what you do.
When meeting a person for the first time, we usually do a few things: we exchange names, we exchange a few trivialities, and then we ask the question, “What do you do?” or “What line of work are you in?”
Why do we ask this question when we first meet somebody? Because we have been conditioned to believe that someone’s worth, even their very identity, can be summed up in what they do to provide for themselves and their families.
When we ask the “What do you do?” question, we are digging for data that we can enter into our matrix of identity and worth. But there is more at work here. We are also looking for answers to the questions that we are still trying to answer about ourselves:
Is what you do significant?
Do you have control over what you do or are you just a cog in the wheel?
Where are you in the hierarchy of your company?
Are you allowed to be creative in your job or do you just do what you’re told?
Does your job give you status?
Do you have money and power?
And, if so, how much?
I don’t believe this is how God or His kingdom works.
After I left full-time ministry, It took several years to heal. And it took a long time to unravel my identity from ministry – one painful strand at a time. Once it finally unraveled, I had the foreboding task of discovering who I was apart of what I did. No small task, to be sure.
dougmurphy
I heard Rick Warren talking about identity the other day and he echoed this but added that often times God uses what we do to help develop or define who we are. So what we do is part of the process but the result. Do you think that is correct? and if so is that why its so easy to ge them mixed up because there is such close proximity
Jake T-Bomb Ray
I think everything in our life helps to develop us a person (and that God uses it all), but I stand solidly in the place that what who we are, at least largely and fundamentally, is not about what we do for a vocation. Does that make sense? Identity has to be about “being” not “doing” first and foremost.
Kelly E McClelland
Thanks for sharing your story! Powerful, heartfelt and very helpful. I agree with you (and the Bible) that we are defined by who we are in Christ first and foremost. Our earthly vocational identity and experience help define our carnal nature and certainly can and will shape us. But we have to be bound to our spiritual identity.
I’ve been teaching Ephesians to my SS class and stressing the dual aspect of positional truth (who we are in Christ which is dominant in the first 3 chapters) and temporal truth (what is our response to positional truth and how we apply it in our lives which is thematic in the last 3 chapters). That helps remind me of the need to maintain the God-connection for my identity and let that shape the rest of my life (rather than vice versa)
I’m very blessed by your post and glad to have found this blog!
Jake T-Bomb Ray
Kelly, thank you for your comment. Very insightful!
Ruslan Vilkhovyi
Thanks! Your experience touched my heart to the deep. I’ll pray for you.
Jake T-Bomb Ray
Thank you Ruslan
Jessica Zhuo
Thank you for this. I left pastoral ministry in church 3 years ago and finding healing and making sense of all the incidents during the time I was a paid staff in church took a while. This article really resonates with me and has been a great encouragement. I’ll be marking this as a favorite for re-reading !! 🙂
Bo Lane
Thanks, Jessica. Please feel free to share this with those you know of that are still in leadership. I appreciate you joining the conversation.
Jill McMillin White
Very very good article. After being in full-time ministry (more or less) for 30 years, last fall we resigned a church we had pastored for 10 years. And are now seeking to find our way apart from that “identity”. It’s good, but so tough too. I loved the way you worded things in this article. Thank you….
Diggs
In the midst of sorting this all out right now… Please please pray